I love the taste of really good weed.
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Soo.. my grandmother died Saturday night. I don’t really know how to feel about the whole situation. She had an aneurysm and it was just all bad from there. I’m feeling really really bad for my Aunt Debbie, her husband Rick, and my 10 year old cousin Khayman. My grandmother has lived with them since Khayman was born and he had a good relationship with her. My grandmother has always like, been around a lot when her grandkids were born, while they were little.. and then she would move in with whoever had kids next, literally. So when I was a toddler, she was around a lot, and then she went to live with my Aunt Donna, and helped take care of my cousins Katie and Patrick because Donna had Cancer and was in and out of the hospital, and then My Aunt Debbie had Khayman, and she moved in with them. Keep in mind, my grandparents have been married for 50 years and my Papa lives on East Mountain with his dogs and my cousin Pat, my grandmother just moved out 20 years ago and never went back hahah.. But like, she was a terrible mother to my mom and her siblings growing up, my mom practically raised my Aunt Debbie. So for whatever reason, when she moved in with my Aunt, she decided she didn’t want anything to do with my mom, any of her kids, and my aunt Donna and her kids.. for no reason at all. She barely kept in contact with my Uncle Donnie and my cousin Erin, she just didn’t speak to any of us for that past 10+years.. Being that my grandmother was the master manipulator that she was, this created basically a barrier between our family. We didn’t talk to them, they didn’t talk to us. So now she died.
Today was her funeral, and I cannot even tell you how dreadful it was. I don’t really know how to feel about it. Keep in mind, this is the grandmother who has never really wanted anything to do with me since I was a toddler. I’m not like bent out of shape about it though, at all actually. I just feel bad for my brother, and my two cousins because they did have a good relationship with her steadily throughout their lives, and I mean, she was my grandmother, so I have Some regrets about the whole relationship, but I guess that was out of my hands. I’m just having problems finding my own emotional connection to her death. My mom is in the same boat as me, she’s used to being the black sheep and the outcast. have probably one of the worst, typical Irish catholic families. Everything is a facade.. Especially with the older people. They were looking at us like we were garbage. I don’t give a fuck though, we all showed up looking amazing and classy so they can fuck off. I’m only concerned about my aunts and uncles. Fuck all the old heads. I’m so happy that I’m smart enough to never be like these people. Love and all, this is not how I am going to live my life. I don’t care about the separation in my family. I barely have a relationship with Khayman and I’m just not okay with it.. So I’m hoping my family with go back to normal since my grandmother isn’t here to divide everybody anymore. I’m just happy this whole mess is over.
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10 notesmy new thing for when people don’t say what i want i just choke them it totally works